So You Think You’ve Got Problems!

So you think that you have problems! You’ve lost your job, the bank is foreclosing on your mortgage, your teenage daughter is pregnant with twins and your wife has hemorrhoids. Your car needs a new transmission, you are suffering from an ulcer and each of your four cats is expecting a litter any day.

Well let me tell you, you should be counting your blessings, compared to the problem of Ms. Rider of Jerome Avenue, Nassau. Ms. Rider has been complaining, according to the local newspaper, for more than two years about her Haitian neighbors who hang their laundry out to dry in clear view of the main road! Now that’s classified as a real problem!

Ms. Rider explains that she has spoken to the neighbors and they just rudely turn her away. “Their clothes lines are filled with every thing in the world,” according to Ms. Rider. “Every day the line is full of clothes, even large washable diapers and old lady’s bloomers are hung out for everyone to see from the main road. They are ruining the neighborhood and pushing property values down. There was a good looking gentleman looking to rent an apartment on Jerome Avenue and when he looked around and saw all the clothes flashing on the line, he said he must be in the wrong place and drove off.”

Ms. Rider said that she is so annoyed that she has complained to both Environmental Health and the Ministry of Works and nothing has been done. “Environmental Health persons came around about nine months ago and promised to do something but never returned,” Ms. Rider said.

I present Ms. Rider’s plight so that you have a benchmark against which to measure your own miserable problems. Her problems involve plunging property values, environmental impact, complex health issues, broken promises and the loss of a potential hot male suitor for Ms. Rider.

I maintain the severity of all problems is relative. Compare your plunging stock portfolio, threatened pension fund and the threat of a major economic depression against Ms. Rider’s clothesline conundrum and you will start to feel a lot better really quickly!