I have been requested by President Obama to help save the US automobile industry. Of course I told him I would do my best and try to offer some proposals that would help the industry, as well as deal with the global energy and environmental crises.
My ten recommendations for the future include:
Car making companies can only make five kinds of vehicles – a compact car, an intermediate car, a large car, a van and a truck. There is no need for the dozens and dozens of models that only confuse the buyer. Five types are enough.
Each year will only provide three, color choices. 2010 models will be black, tan or red, 2011 models will be gold, white or blue, and 2012 models will be grey, silver or green. The colors will recycle every three years. Nine colors to chose from are enough.
Every vehicle will possess a four or six cylinder engine and the V8 engine will only be a memory. In an energy conscious environment, a small engine is more than adequate for 99% of drivers. The other 1% can vicariously increase their engines power by vocally chanting “Vroom, vroom, vroom!”
Beginning in 2012 ALL vehicles must be hybrids and in 2014 an electric option will be available as well. Every other option will be a standard feature with no additional costs beyond the sticker price.
Cars will only be assembled to fill an order. Just as many books are now only published upon demand, there is no need for hundreds of thousands of cars to sit in lots waiting to be sold. Dealerships will not need huge car storage lots and money will not be tied up in inventory. Plan ahead, order your car and then wait until it is delivered.
A selection of assembly line workers and supervisors will determine the salary that is fair for performing each task on an automobile assembly line. Since most tasks are automated, workers will not be paid as if they were skilled, educated engineers when their job involves tightening three nuts on three bolts. If workers don’t like the new salary scale, fill out a job application at Wal-Mart.
The maximum salary of any automobile executive cannot exceed the salary of the President of the United States. Any executive, who wishes to make a case for a higher salary, is invited to do so at his or her own peril.
The prices of all vehicles will decrease to reflect the lower cost of fewer models, fewer color and option choices, less need for large inventories and lower salaries of many employees of the automobile industry. Pass the savings on to the buyer, not the CEO.
New car owners will be provided with a five-year warrantee that will cost the owner only $200 for minor and $500 for major repairs. Auto companies will be forced to ensure that their work is of a high quality or be required to assume the cost of shoddy workmanship.
At year’s end, automobile company executives may be awarded bonuses. In the next year, however, the price of the company’s automobiles must be reduced by the same percentage, as the executive’s bonus was a percentage of his or her salary. What’s sauce for the goose is probably going to make the gander happy as well!
Mr. President, I have been glad to be able to help. If you need any help with bankers or mortgage lenders just give me a call!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment