Like a Walk in The Rainforest

Sometimes the rituals or practices of the Catholic Church baffle me. When I go to Sunday mass it is an opportunity for me to worship, pray and find an hour of tranquility in an otherwise hectic world. Last Sunday that all changed.

For some reason, the church I attended introduced a new practice that was very annoying. After the entrance procession, about six parishioners met with the priest at the main alter. Before the mass began it was decided that the entire congregation would be blessed with holy water. Usually the priest just symbolically sprinkles a little water in the direction of the congregation from the foot of the alter.

Last Sunday a more dramatic blessing was introduced. Each of the six parishioners was given a bowl of water and a rather large tree branch well endowed with leaves. The enthusiastic “sprinklers” gleefully dipped their branches into the water bowl and began to spray the parishioners. With a twinkle in their eyes, they proceeded down the aisles spraying left and right with unrestrained vigor. Water flew like a family of robins splashing in a birdbath.

The congregation tried to remain solemn and composed but they were quickly forced into a defensive mode. Everyone wearing glasses turned their heads away from the possessed sprinklers trying to avoid spotting on their glasses. Everyone on the left jerked their heads to the right and everyone on the right jerked their heads to the left. A Broadway chorus line could not have been choreographed with more precision.

Ladies wearing their Sunday best were paralyzed with the fear that the deluge would ruin their new suede jacket or silk blouse. Some people sitting in the middle of a pew were trapped with assaults from both sides. It was intended to be a solemn moment but it quickly deteriorated into a moment of restrained anxiety. I am not sure how it added to the solemnity of the occasion. By the time all of the wearers of glasses had cleaned their glasses and the children had finished playing in the puddles that had accumulated on the seats, the mass was half over.

If the congregation must be blessed with holy water, I would like to suggest that perhaps a plant mister, like that used to spray houseplants, be utilized instead of a tree branch. I understand the intent of the blessing with water, but my recent experience was more like a walk in a rainforest. Next time I will wear a rain slicker to church!